Aug. 4, 2003

By Darrell Bird – The Cats’ Pause

Ron Whisman doesn’t know if he’ll ever see another Father’s Day. That, he says, is in God’s hands.

But because of an incredible gift from strangers and inspiring compassion shown by the Kentucky basketball program, the 37-year-old certainly has one Father’s Day that will never be forgotten. Not by Ron, who is battling advanced leukemia, nor by Alec, a 10-year-old who at least now is equipped with a brilliant father-son memory to help fend off the shadows during uncertain days destined to come.

“I really felt like I was part of some Make-A-Wish Foundation dream that had been granted,” Whisman said with a glee that defies his own reality. “I went in with high expectations only to have them far exceeded.”

The culmination of Ron’s story is that he and Alec spent that remarkable weekend at Tubby Smith’s Father-Son Basketball Camp on the UK campus. But as with life’s best rewards, there is much to savor along this extraordinary journey that branched across America thanks to a collection of avid Kentucky fans on the Internet.

“It all began,” Whisman explained, “when I went to the general discussion board and posted prayer requests for myself. The next thing I know, I’m going to this father-son camp. It’s a done deal, paid for. All I have to do is show up. I was flabbergasted.”

Whisman, who has lived in nearby Winchester for six years, is a member of Kentucky Sports Report, the oldest and among the largest Internet communities specifically established to foster discussion among UK fans scattered around the globe.

When “BigRonW,” as he is known online, explained his circumstances it touched a nerve with several KSR members, including administrator Babette McConnell of South Fulton, Tenn.

“Everybody was so down after the NCAA loss to Marquette, but Ron was on the board saying it’s just basketball, it’s not real life,” McConnell said. “I just thought it would be nice if there was something we could do for him.”

So “Babs,” as she is known, secretly contacted Whisman’s wife, Niki, and arranged to keep “BigRonW” off the Internet. She then posted her idea to send the Whismans to Tubby’s camp and began a collection drive on KSR’s general discussion message board.

Just 10 hours later, the $300 camp fee was covered. Then another remarkable thing happened. McConnell made the announcement of the successful drive on KSR’s heavily viewed WildcatChat basketball forum and an additional $300 was donated after the fact, enough to fund a Dawahare’s gift certificate for Niki Whisman.

“I was amazed by the outpouring of generosity,” McConnell said. “A few members even stepped forward to pay the full $300 themselves, but that wasn’t necessary because a lot of people chipped in with small donations. I think everybody just wanted to do a little something to help.”

Remember, Whisman and McConnell have never met. In fact, the vast majority in message board communities don’t even know one another’s name.

“It shows that there are a lot of truly wonderful people at KSR,” Whisman said. “But it’s still amazing to me that people would do something like that for someone they’ve never met. They’ve never seen me, never talked to me in person. It blows my mind.”

Strangers only by a traditional definition, according to McConnell.

“Message boards are funny,” she said. “You don’t know the people, but in a way you do. I guess you would have to be a part of it to understand it, but after communicating with someone over a period of a few years you do feel like you know that person.”

With the Internet family of UK fans having done their part, it was only for Ron and Alec to sit back and enjoy the gift. But the soulless disease wouldn’t retreat without a fight.

Two weeks before the camp, Ron’s temperature soared to 105 and he was hospitalized. Niki Whisman posted the news on the Internet and even voiced a fear that the end might be near. But Ron battled back strong, and was soon able to return home.

Then on the morning they were to leave for the father-son camp, Whisman took a hard fall.”I have developed a bad case of orthostatic blood pressure problems, which has caused a couple of blacking out incidents,” Whisman told his Internet family. “To be truthful, I was carrying two pillows and an overnight bag downstairs about two hours before Alec and I left when I became unstable and missed the last four steps and fell forward onto our hardwood floor on my knees and elbows. It scared Alec to death and I got some impressive floor burns, but I was OK. Later, one of the other fathers actually patted me on the back and bragged on my ‘hustle’ for the floor burns. I just grinned and said that you have to give it your all.”

But there was no denying the father’s weakened condition, which would severely restrict his ability to participate in strenuous drills. That’s when Whisman learned even more about the goodness in people.

Alec’s age group was assigned to UK assistant coach Scott Rigot and included players Antwain Barbour, Josh Carrier, Ravi Moss and Matt Heissenbuttel.

UK senior Antwain Barbour filled in for Ron Whisman as Alec’s dad during the Father-Son Camp.

“I talked to coach Rigot about my situation,” Whisman said, “Antwain Barbour overheard the conversation and says, ‘Can I be his Dad, coach?’

“From that moment on, Antwain took such good care of my son that I will be forever grateful to him. And Antwain certainly has a big, big fan in Alec.

“The way he took Alec under his wing was truly phenomenal,” Whisman said. “And the next morning at breakfast, Antwain came looking for Alec. We didn’t have to go looking for him. I was very impressed.”

A side benefit for Alec, of course, is that his pseudo father-son tandem was suddenly a powerhouse.

“Of course, all of the other kids were mad because Alec took such a quantum leap up in his father’s basketball abilities,” Whisman said with a laugh.

One drill featured two-on-two games between fathers and sons.

“Antwain would go out of his way to get Alec the shot because, of course, he could destroy any of the other Dads out there,” Whisman said. “And it didn’t matter what kind of shot Alec would take, Antwain would always give him a high five and tell him to keep on shooting.”

Meantime, UK’s staff kept an eye on Whisman.

“I was in no way able to go through any of the drills and competitions, but Tubby’s staff and players were extremely accommodating and constantly checked on me throughout the weekend,” Whisman said. “Coach Rigot was always checking on me to make sure I was feeling OK, and he talked to me quite a bit. He’s a very funny guy.”

Later in the day, Kentucky players entertained the campers with a pick-up game and Whisman, being a typical UK fan, couldn’t pass on evaluating the play or passing along the inside scoop.”Erik Daniels had the 15 to 18 foot jump shot falling beautifully,” Whisman said. “But it was funny watching him play center, grabbing rebounds and leading the break. Brandon Stockton had a beautiful lob to Antwain who gave a rim-rattling dunk to finish. Kelenna Azubuike has a nice stroke and was shooting the ball very well.”

During a break, Whisman reported that Barbour returned to the court to throw down a “just nasty” dunk. “Not to be outdone, Kelenna slowly walked out underneath the rim. He stood flat-footed under the goal. He then lifted straight up and jammed it with a pseudo windmill with all kinds of power. It was very impressive.”

Whisman reported that Saturday began with Smith talking to all of the campers about the mechanics of shooting. “He stood in the circle behind the free throw line and drilled nine out of 10 shots. The man still has a nice stroke on him,” Whisman reported.

Other activities included a tour of Memorial Coliseum, Tubby’s office, Wildcat Lodge and Rupp Arena.

“The locker room in Memorial Coliseum is beautiful,” Whisman said. “Coach Rigot said that when a recruit is coming in, they fix up a locker with his jersey, shoes, and everything. They turn off all of the other lights and have a spotlight shining into his locker when he walks in.”A visit to Smith’s office introduced campers to the high-tech world of coaching.

“Tubby showed us this video system that UK was a pilot project on that was amazing,” Whisman said. “From his office, Tubby can call up a UK player and watch each play that he was in during the game and record comments for the player to listen to. The players have a station in Wildcat Lodge where they can log into the system and pull up their game and listen to Tubby’s comments. It also tracks who logs on and when so the coaches know if the players have listened to what they wanted to say. Tubby said that a lot of the professional teams have this system now. It was very impressive.”

But even that technological marvel could not rival the simple sincerity that enveloped an ol’ boy from Beattyville.

“The thing that impressed me the most was the individual attention that everyone got,” Whisman said. “I believe that Tubby made it around to each person and talked to them at length. Tubby talks straight to you. He really wants to know about you and what you’re thinking. I believe he’s the most down-to-earth person I’ve ever met.”

In the days since camp, the news has been difficult for Whisman. Two radical treatments, including a bone-marrow transplant, were ineffective.

“Treatment is not going good,” he said, masking understandable frustration. “I feel like I’m beating my head against a wall.”

But being blue to the bone, Whisman still greets each sunrise in the renewed spirit of UK athletics – first class all the way and with the grace of a humble champion.

“You would think that these UK basketball players would act like they walk on water,” Whisman said. “But I have never been more impressed by a group of people. It’s great to know that your beloved Cats are run by such good people.”